Unless I See and Touch

I’ve often thought about the emotional chaos that followed the Passover of Yeshua’s death.  The disciples (including those in His extended group of disciples such as Miriam/Mary of Magdala) were overwhelmed with grief at Yeshua’s death.  Peter was undoubtedly weighed down with guilt because of his denial of the Messiah and the others may have done a good deal of second guessing in the aftermath – “Could I have done something differently to help Him?”  As well, they must have been consumed by fear of the Sanhedrin’s power and Rome’s continuing oppression. 

Then, their world turned upside down when they received word from the two Miriams that Yeshua was alive.  I can barely imagine what went through their minds and hearts – incredulity, disbelief, more fear and doubt, barely articulated hope, joy … What a roller-coaster!

Yochanan/John records a remarkable episode with T’oma/Thomas who had been absent during Yeshua’s first resurrected appearance to the disciples (20:24ff).  When they excitedly told him they’d seen the Lord – three days after His death yet! – T’oma declared his disbelief without concrete proof, wanting to see with his own eyes and touch with his own hands.  We often criticize T’oma for his apparent stubbornness and lack of faith but, in fact, how many of us would have responded in exactly the same way? 

As a child and young person, I remember thinking with relief that I was among those blessed by Yeshua when He said, “Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed” (John 20:29b).  Certainly, I have never seen Yeshua’s physical body and yet I do believe wholeheartedly.  But, as I have grown older and come to understand myself better, I’ve realized that I have the same pragmatic, skeptical approach to life that T’oma had.  I tend to deal with situations in a thoughtful, logical way without giving way to emotion and impulse.  If I’d been with the disciples in those turbulent days following Yeshua’s death, I would have said exactly what T’oma said.  It is only by the grace of God that I have believed without seeing!

When T’oma finally did have the opportunity to see and touch Yeshua, he responded with “My Lord and my God!”  This always struck me as a rather formal, stilted reaction – until one day, after being part of the Messianic community for many years, I realized what T’oma was saying.  And what he said was in no way stilted.

Many Jewish prayers begin with the same phrase:  Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech ha olam.  In English we translate this as Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe.  I love to hear these words because they remind me that we worship our Creator who is all-powerful, all-knowing – just ALL in every way.  We are not addressing some idol of wood or stone, but the King of the Universe.

At the sight of the resurrected Yeshua, I might have fallen to the ground in tears and embarrassment.  But T’oma, observant Jew that he was, responded with words he had previously only addressed to God the Father in prayer:  Adonai, Elohim – Lord and God.  With these words, T’oma submitted to the physical truth of Yeshua’s resurrection.  But, even more, he acknowledged that Yeshua was the Son of God and worshipped Him.

One day, I WILL see Yeshua face to face.  I think my first words will be:  “Adonai, Elohim!”

Janice Beurling, Communications Ministry Leader, Chosen People Ministries (Canada)